To Be or Not to Be … a Cynic

An Assembling God’s Puzzle video

It’s not too difficult in our world today to find things that are going wrong, are not working, are a mess, are awful, are horrifically bad, and so on. I suspect that when most of us have conversations with friends, it doesn’t take long for the discussion to center on what is wrong around us, and who to blame for it.

This can be somewhat therapeutic, allowing us to blow off steam in a safe place. But it can also devolve into simply griping about what is wrong, criticizing those “others” who don’t agree with us, and sarcastically making fun of those we deem as unenlightened idiots who are responsible for what is wrong in the world. If this happens often enough to become the norm in our conversations and in our thinking, we may easily slip into cynicism, which is usually not helpful and doesn’t feel good.

The temptation toward cynicism when we encounter life’s messiness is a piece of the human puzzle that we need to deal with.

Some people believe that sarcasm is an art. It is often a witty, humorous way of pointing out what is wrong. Comedians and political cartoonists often use sarcasm to highlight what is wrong in our society or government. Sarcasm can be an effective way of leveling constructive criticism. But it is an easy jump from sarcasm to cynicism.

A cynic is someone who not only points out the flaws in the world, but is resigned to the belief that that is all there is. We’ve all known people who are so negative about everything that we don’t enjoy being around them. Most everything they say is dripping with sarcasm, and they seem to see nothing good or redeemable about anything. They can be highly intelligent and very witty, but not fun to be around.

I suspect that most of us have had our moments of cynicism. We might even have had long stretches in which we felt cynical about life or about certain aspects of life. If we’re honest, those times were not very enjoyable, and we weren’t really at peace inside. Not only is cynicism not pleasant, but it prevents anything constructive from being done. A cynic sits back and takes pot-shots at all that is wrong in the world, believing that no one can change it. Cynicism is a truly hopeless, helpless place in which to reside.

As people of faith, we believe that all of creation, including human beings, was created as good. It’s that faith that calls us to avoid cynicism as much as possible. And there are ways to do this.

When identifying the flaws in the world or in people, it is important to consciously identify what is good also. That is difficult because we are conditioned to focus only on what is wrong. But finding the good in something can help keep us from sliding into the pit of despair and cynicism.

It is also helpful to identify what specifically one can do to address or correct what we see as wrong, rather than focus only on what can’t be done. I may not be able to change racism in society or change hurtful legislation from being passed, but I can be vocal about pointing out the problems, and personally treat others without bias or malice.

Focusing on solutions to societal problems is a good way to avoid cynicism. Using hindsight to remind ourselves of the progress that has been made in dealing with flaws in society is also useful to help us continue working toward solving problems instead of giving up.

Cynicism is a truly hopeless, helpless place in which to reside.

To avoid becoming cynical about people, it helps to continually remind ourselves that human beings are more alike than they are different. And even though someone is behaving in a way that is foreign to us, or they have totally different views than we have, it’s a good bet their motivation is very similar to ours, even though we might not see it immediately. Holding on to this belief can help us put effort into finding understanding before we go immediately to sarcasm and cynicism.

With all the chaos and problems we see around us these days, the temptation to surrender to cynicism can be very strong. But resisting the temptation is crucial for there to be any possibility of navigating the problems and finding solutions. And it is crucial to our peace and happiness.

All of the videos in this series can be found here: Assembly God’s Puzzle.

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[Fr. Garry Richmeier, a Precious Blood priest and spiritual director, holds a Master’s of Divinity Degree from St John’s University in Collegeville, Minnesota, and a Master’s of Counseling Psychology degree from the University of Missouri-Kansas City. He is a licensed professional counselor and a licensed marriage and family therapist.]

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