Stitching My Story

A Coffee with Padre Video

By Fr. Timothy Armbruster, C.PP.S.

When I joined Precious Blood Renewal Center, I knew that one thing I wanted to do was to grow my skills in as a spiritual director accompanying others on their spiritual journeys. I researched a few different offerings and found that Souljourners at Sophia Center in Atchison, Kansas, a ministry of the Benedictine Sisters, spoke to my heart.

The description of the program reads, “At i’s core, Souljourners is about helping others to grow in the skills of listening deeply with their heart and being truly present with others. A 3-year, on-site program focused upon Judeo-Christian spiritual traditions, Souljourners was created with those in mind who wish to become spiritual directors. But, it is by no means limited to those wishing to officially take on that role. The skills learned in Souljourners can benefit anyone in any role or profession. For those who work specifically in ministry, we believe you will find the Souljourners program invaluable in helping you to serve God’s people with even greater love and compassion.”

Their approach is a contemplative evocative approach in which listening heart to heart is key. This approach grows out of the contemplative aspects of the Benedictine tradition. It is a 3-year program that focuses on instruction, keynote speakers, skills building and many opportunities to practice one’s skills.

As I have entered into this program, one thing that I hear over and over again is, “Trust the process.” We are reminded to take to heart and practice the skills and trust that they will work. We are called and challenged to listen to the other’s story, listen to what is going on within me, walk with the person and be curious, listen and ask open ended questions that allow the conversation to flow. These are all part of the process and learning how to allow the Spirit to lead and guide us. Trust the process, trust my feelings, listen with the “ears of the heart” and stay with the other person’s story. We are not fixers, we don’t have to have the answers, just listen and walk with the person.

After each of our monthly classes, we are asked to write a 4- to 5-page reflection/integration paper. It’s not just repeating back or praising the presenter, rather a way to understand and make it our own. What emotions or thoughts did the presentation stir within us? What questions still linger or what questions were answered.

During the summer, we had an intense weeklong residency on campus and once again after the week, we had the option to write a reflection paper or create a reflection project. I started reading the guidelines for the reflection project, and it stated, “Option 2. Be creative, (i.e., drawing, painting, sewing…” and I quit reading right there. I knew what I wanted to do for my creative reflective project.

I love to quilt and I love storytelling; what better way than to combine the two. I decided to create a quilt that tells the story of spiritual direction. Knowing the history of quilts and the stories that quilts can convey, I decided to “stitch my story.” I began with brainstorming what Spiritual Direction is about and what are the skills needed. I then began looking for quilt blocks that connected with these ideas.

Once I had my list of skills of spiritual direction: listening, being present, asking questions, curiosity, wondering, what-if, and a few others, I began an online search of quilt blocks. More than once a connection with animals appeared in my search. I love nature and I know there is a spiritual connection with certain animals and so I decided to incorporate them into my quilt.

The blocks I chose represent these skills and other ideas of Spiritual Direction. Beginning with the four corners and the four animals. The bluebird and cardinal are birds known as spiritual messengers. Spiritually, a cardinal symbolizes love, hope, change, and messages from the spiritual realm. It is often seen as a sign from a loved one who has passed, offering comfort and a feeling that they are not forgotten. The vibrant red color connects it to vitality, passion, and new beginnings. Also a sign of stability as it remains in an area or region for extended periods of time.

Bluebirds symbolize happiness, love, hope, and good fortune, often appearing after a difficult time. They are seen as messengers of joy, renewal, and optimism, with their cheerful songs and bright blue color representing the coming of light and new beginnings.

The bee symbolizes hard work, community, and productivity, but it also represents wisdom, love, and fertility. Bees are often viewed as symbols of personal growth, hard work, and transformation.

The hummingbird symbolizes joy, love, resilience, and beauty. It is also viewed as a messenger, often believed to carry messages of hope, love, and healing, sometimes from the spirit world or deceased loved ones. Despite its small size, the hummingbird’s ability to fly long distances and hover represents strength, stamina, and perseverance in the face of challenges.

The center block is known as The Labyrinth or maze. The path or journey that each of us finds ourselves on in life. With guidance, reflection, trial and error, we all find our path with the hope that it is leading us closer to God, closer to the Divine.

Either side of the Labyrinth is the block “What If?” The playfulness of the pinwheels in the corners and the arrows of direction remind us to ask that question, “What if?” To be curious and to question, to not be afraid to wonder.

The center bottom is Peace and Plenty. The “Peace and Plenty” quilt block symbolizes hope, prosperity, and a bountiful harvest, representing a home filled with contentment and abundance. It is a classic quilt pattern that carries a historical meaning of gratitude for the good things in life, such as community and a successful harvest.

And lastly, top center, maybe my favorite block, is the sunflower. Being a Kansas boy, I had to have a bit of me in it. The sunflower can symbolize prosperity, warmth, happiness, and optimism, reflecting the flower’s association with sunshine and its agricultural significance. It is the Kansas state flower. I love sunflowers. The stocks grow thick and strong and are able to withstand the Kansas winds and heat.

As I began to assemble this quilt, I called upon a few quilting friends for advice as well as consulting a few online videos. One particular quilter shared, “Trust the process,” “take your time,” and “if you make more than two mistakes, it’s time to quit for the night.” I laughed as these were familiar words of spiritual direction. Also from another quilter, “Be patient and let the creation happen.” At one point I did get anxious and just wanted to get it done. I probably pushed myself a bit too much and started to make some mistakes. Will just say I’m good friends with the seam ripper.

Even though it might have been quicker and easier to write a paper, it would not have had the same impact as this quilt. It is a labor of love and it tells a story. There are a couple of pinwheels that got messed up in the process. I assembled the first one and I realized I had made a mistake but I liked the mistake better than the original. But when it came time to repeat the process for the second pinwheel, I almost couldn’t figure out what I had done wrong the first time to repeat it a second time. Mistakes and all, it turned out great.

The best part of a quilt compared to a paper is that I can wrap myself in the quilt like a giant hug.

Accompanying someone on a spiritual journey is indeed a privilege. It’s not counseling, it’s not trying to fix something, it is allowing the other to speak his or her truth, tell his or her story and hopefully grow in one’s relationship with God, with the Divine. We create a warm, inviting space that allows the Spirit to speak as we listen heart to heart.

All of the videos in this series can be found here: Coffee with Padre

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[Fr. Timothy Armbruster is a Precious Blood priest whose ministry has focused on parish work and retreats for youth and young adults. He holds a Master’s of Divinity Degree from Catholic Theological Union and describes himself as “a clown at heart.” Fr. Timothy incorporates clown ministry into his work to open our hearts, to seek laughter and happiness, and to see the world around us a bit differently. “In the stuffiness of life, we need God’s humor to see things anew,” he says.]

Music: We Are a New Creation (Instrumental) Christopher Walker Paule Freeburg We Shall Praise Your Name ℗ 2011 OCP All rights reserved. All selections BMI. Released on: 2020-03-31 Music Publisher: OCP https://youtu.be/1NmInyrziZE

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